The Act of Falling (In Four Parts)
by WhiteFlowersOnOurBacks
Summary: Written for day 5 of Seblaine Week. S3 re-write(ish) in which Sebastian transfers to McKinley instead of Dalton.
1. The Trip

**Another Seblaine week story. This one written for McKinley Day. There are four parts planned for this, with parts 3&4 expected to be up, hopefully, in the next week or two. **

**Also I know that after SYH I promised a lot of people I was done with Klaine forever. Oops. (Although, all things considered there really isnt that much here.)**

* * *

"You all can thank me later." Sugar's shrill voice cut through the quiet chatter of the choir room. She flounced her way into the room, tulle skirt fluttering around her. "After the way you treated me," she threw an angry glare at Mr. Schue, "I don't know why I'm being so kind to you."

"Please don't tell me she's coming back," groaned Puck.

"No, Puck. Sugar is not coming back," Mr. Schue got up to stand next to her. "But she did find us another new member."

"He's a family friend. From Paris. And just not good enough for my new, eliter group. But he should be fine for you sorry losers. " Sugar added with a flip of her hair. "You're welcome." She blew them all a kiss and turned on her heel and flounced back out.

"He and his family just moved here and I'm sure I can count on all of you to help make this an easy transition for him."

"I can help!" Kurt thrust his hand in the air, body practically quaking in excitement. "I do have some experience with transferring. Westerville isn't quite Pairs but it is like a whole different world."

"And if I recall, you're quite fluent in French," Mr. Schuester agreed with a nod, causing Kurt to flush, obviously pleased at the compliment. "Blaine, I'm sure the two of you can bond over learning to navigate McKinley's waters as well. But it will take all of us to make him feel like William McKinley High can be his home."

"So where is Fancypants McGee?" Puck asked, clearly unmoved by Mr. Schuester's speech.

"Well- I'm sure he'll be here any minute. In the mean time, let's get started on this week's assignment. Tina? You had something ready for us?"

Forty minutes later a boy with impossibly long legs wearing a striped rugby shirt and jeans came strolling in. "Sorry I'm late," he said in impeccable English and not looking even the slightest bit apologetic. "There are some things that needed attending."

"Of course!" Mr Schuester jumped up. "You must be Sebastian?" He seemed as confused by the lack of accent as the rest of them did.

With a look that was half concern, half thinly veiled disgust, Sebastian took a step back to keep his personal space from being encroached on (and really, Mr. Shchuester idea of what constituted acceptable personal space was something that took getting used to) and sharply nodded his head in confirmation.

"Do you have an audition piece ready for us? Or would you like more time to prepare? I know how crazy moving can be-"

"Preparation is my middle name," Sebastian said with a devilish smirk that they shortly learned to recognize as his signature facial expression.

"Dude don't sound very French," muttered Artie as Sebastian got ready to begin his audition which only seemed to cause the new boy's smirk to grow.

Standing in the center of the room, Sebastian began whistling out of the corner of his mouth and tapping his foot to lay out the rhythm of the song.

_Un SMS vient d'arriver, j'ai 18 ans,_  
_Envolée ma virginité, je suis plus un enfant._  
_L'horloge tourne, les minutes sont torrides_  
_Et moi je rêve d'accélérer le temps._

As he sang, he danced around. The steps were relatively simple (although still more complicated than most of the McKinley kids seemed like they would be able to manage) but he weaved them together in an impressively intricate way that complimented the simplicity of the song.

Technically, Sebastian wasn't the greatest singer. His range wasn't abundantly impressive, although it was decent enough and he'd clearly hadn't had any training.

But he could perform.

Even without any form of background music and the room's general inability to understand what he was saying, everyone was captivated. Even Puck looked like he was begrudgingly enjoying himself: although he quickly schooled his expression to one of disinterest as soon as the song ended.

By the time Sebastian sank down into his seat to the resounding applause of the group, Blaine's entire body was covered in goose bumps.

When Mr. Schuester dismissed them twenty minutes later, Kurt eagerly scrambled down from his seat to plant himself in front of the rather alarmed looking newcomer.

"Bonjour," he said proudly, not wanting his opportunity to speak French to go to waste. "Je m'appelle Kurt. Bienvenue à McKinley."

Sebastian's eyes dragged from Kurt's outstretched hand, up and down his body. His responding smile looked more like a grimace as he said, "Ne plus jamais parler français. Jamais. Ton accent est aussi horrible que tes habits."

Immediately the bright smile disappeared from Kurt's face and instead he looked as if he had just been slapped. Sebastian, on the other hand, looked smugly pleased with himself as he swung his bag over his shoulder and stalked from the room.

"What did he say?" Blaine asked quietly. He barely knew enough French to understand Kurt's simple introduction and Sebastian had been speaking much to quickly and fluidly for him to pick out so much as a syllable.

"No-nothing." Kurt shook his head, cheeks still painted red in embarrassment.

"Kurt." Blaine gave him a look that told him he wasn't even remotely convinced. He was used to the strong facade his boyfriend liked to put on. Maybe it fooled the rest of the world, but it didn't fool him.

"No, really." Kurt's voice was still higher than normal and his back was ramrod straight. "He just offered to help me improve my accent."

Blaine still wasn't quite sure he believe him. "If you're sure..."

"Positive." Kurt smiled reassuringly and took Blaine's hand, giving it a quick squeeze before letting it go and turning to laugh at something Mercedes had said.

xx

Despite the excitement at his audition, it took a week for the glee club to declare Sebastian Smythe the worst thing that had ever happened to them. He was, according to Tina, a combination of Sue, Santana, and Rachel in all the worst ways possible. Kurt, still upset at the way his French speaking abilities had been called into question, seemed convinced he was the devil incarnate and Rachel had the suspicion that he was secretly working for the Cheerios because he was supposedly seen 'cavorting' with Santana between 3rd and 4th period 'and we know he's good at dancing. What if he joins them?'

Blaine had three classes with the newest member of the New Directions. Although Sebastian couldn't exactly be described as nice in any of them, he was nowhere near as obnoxiously outspoken outside of the choir room. (Although Blaine found himself less annoyed than everyone else seemed to. Sure, Sebastian could have been less insulting when he spoke up during glee, but he actually made a lot of valid points about the general disorganization and petty squabbling that took place during rehearsal time.)

And he, apparently, wasn't the only one who thought Sebastian was at least an okay guy. Sebastian seemed to have made a few friends, jocks of some sort. Not the slushy throwing ones that they had all warned him to avoid during his first week, but some other team that Blaine didn't recognize. And although Sebastian spent a lot of the class goofing off with them, he always seemed to have an intelligent answer when he was called on.

Sebastian had also developed the disconcerting habit of winking at Blaine whenever he passed him in the halls, making it especially pronounced if Kurt was with him. Blaine really didn't know what to make of it. It seemed a bit far to go just to bait Kurt (although it was a very effective method) based on the amount of snarling Kurt did as soon as he caught sight of Sebastian.

"-and the way he always talks about Paris. I don't know who he's trying to impress with that, but it's not working," Rachel ranted over her salad, glaring across the cafeteria to where Sebastian was sitting with his friends.

"I think he just misses it," Blaine replied without thinking. Immediately Rachel and Kurt whipped around to give him twin glares. "Or maybe not." He didn't dare mention the distant look he was pretty sure Sebastian got whenever he boasted about his old life. It echoed the feeling Blaine got whenever he thought about Westerville, wondering what the Warblers were up to and whether Nick would finally be given a solo at Sectionals that he definitely deserved and if Jon was actually making it to class on time without him there to wake him up.

"Like Sebastian Smythe has feelings." Tina rolled her eyes while everyone else heartily voiced their agreement.

xx

About twice a week Blaine stayed after glee to make use of McKinley's gym. He'd spend about half an hour on the punching bag and then he'd run a few laps, either around the gym or out on the track, depending on the weather and how late it was. Those few hours were probably the most relaxing of his week.

There was nothing quite as satisfying as the burn of well worked muscles, he thought to himself as lazily stretched out his legs using one of the benches in the locker room. He had just finished and was searching through his gym bag for his phone when he thought he heard something.

"Hello?" Blaine called out, setting his bag down on the aisle bench as a pained moaning echoed through the empty room. It was rare for anyone else to still be there by the time he finished, normally Coach Bieste and the janitor were the only people he saw.

At the sound of another groan, he grabbed his cell phone from his bag, just in case he need to call for help, and carefully followed the noise back to the showers.

"Is everything okay? Do you need any help?" He tried again. There were a million reasons why someone would be alone and in pain in a locker room. Most of the jocks at McKinley were probably too beefheaded to want to admit that they were injured in front of their teammates. It was probably nothing more than a twisted ankle, or an overstretched muscle or-

"I told you to keep it down," a voice hissed , just barely audible above the spray of the shower. He was still too far away to make out the murmured response but a second later the first voice laughed before saying "Just shut up for a minute and I'm sure he'll go away. Then we can pick up where we left off."

There was another whimper and Blaine knew he couldn't just walk away. Steeling up his nerves he took another step forward.

"If you don't come out now, I'm going to call the police," he said much more confidently than he felt. "My phone is in my hand and I already have the number dialled in."

The sounds of a frantic scrambled and a muttered 'fucking Christ' bounced off the tiled walls and then a rather tall and very, very naked body was sliding itself through the barely cracked door.

"Sebastian?" Blaine choked out, eyes definitely not following the drops of water as they fell from his hair and merrily chased their way from his collarbone, down his well defined chest, and across the plains of his abdominal muscles before-

"Blaine?" Sebastian asked, equally as shocked. Although his surprise, unlike Blaine's, was not long lasting. "Something I can help you with? I was kind of in the middle of something."

"Wha-? I was just- and. Umm. I-I thought I heard something? And just wanted t-t-to make sure everything was. You know, okay?" He babbled. And if he thought Sebastian's bare chest was distracted, it was absolutely nothing in comparison to his obscenely red and swollen lips or the tile patterned bruises that were forming on his knees.

There was also the fact that he wasn't even attempting to do anything to hide his erection.

"Everything is peachy," Sebastian replied smugly. Finally, Blaine tore his eyes away from the guy in front of him and skittered over to the closed stall door as he tried not to imagine who was behind it.

"And your... friend? He's... okay too?"

"I imagine he's feeling a little frustrated at the moment, but nothing that I can't relieve him of once you leave. Unless," he stepped aside and gestured to the door, "you'd like to join us?"

Whoever was behind there squeaked.

Suddenly the gratuitous winking made a lot more sense.

"Right. O-of course. I mean, no. Thank you. I. Kurt and... I'll just be- My mom's expecting me home for dinner." He couldn't remember ever having run away from anything so quickly in his life.

When he got to school the next morning it was to find Sebastian leaning up against his locker. Despite the fact that his clothes were far from form fitting, Blaine could still imagine every inch of toned muscle that was being concealed.

Not that he was. But, conceivably, he could. Just to be safe, he made a point of not looking anywhere but this face.

"Have a good dinner last night, killer? Mommy make something good?"

"It was just a stir fry. Chicken," he muttered, ducking his head into Kurt's chest as his boyfriend looked on in confusion. It really had been too much to hope that Sebastian would forget about his departing comment.

"Sounds delicious."

"It was." Suddenly he was struck by a bought of confidence he hadn't felt since he transferred and he couldn't resist looking back up to meet Sebastian's eyes and saying, "but I'm sure nowhere near as good as what you had last night."

He had a second to enjoy the slack-jawed expression of surprise on Sebastian's face before it flickered back into its normal state of smugness.

"Touché, Anderson," he said, bowing his head in mock respect. "This school might not be so bad after all." Offering up a last smile that bordered on lecherous, he hurried up the hallway to meet up with his lacrosse buddies.

"What was that all about?" Kurt hissed as they watched him disappear around the corner. He was leaning against the lockers, arms crossed over his chest, and glaring like Sebastian had personally been in charge of the destruction of his McQueen scarf collection.

Hastily Blaine shoved his English binder into his locker and replaced it with chemistry textbook. "H'mm? Oh," he gave his head a little shake. Now that the moment had passed he was embarrassed by how forward he had been. He barely knew Sebastian and it was completely inappropriate to be teasing him about his sex life like that, even if he should have done a better job to make sure his activities remained a little more private. "It's nothing. I ran into him on the way home yesterday. I found out about his surprising passion for food."

Kurt made a strangled noise of questioning disbelief but thankfully didn't push it any further. "Have you thought about what you're going to do for your audition yet? They start in next week and I still can't decide."

"I was going to work on it this weekend. Maybe we can watch the movie for inspiration? My parents will be out all day Saturday." He let the implication of what else that could mean hang heavy in the air between them.

"I can't wait. I haven't watched West Side Story in ages" Kurt smiled at him, soft and loving but without a hint that he had clued into what else Blaine had been suggesting.

Before he could offer more hints, the shrill ringing of the bell interrupted them. Briefly he let their hands brush together before shutting his locker with a sigh and heading off to Chemistry.

xx

Being at McKinley was nothing like Blaine had expected it to be. Actually, if he was honest with himself, he hadn't really had any expectations because he'd barely thought about actually transferring until the papers were in his hands and he was pleading his case to his parents. He had known it wouldn't be like Dalton, had known what Kurt had gone through the year before, and had known he should probably expect similar treatment.

But he had hoped that, despite everything, he would at least have the glee club by his side.

Instead they were too busy bickering and feuding with each other to notice him, unless Finn was making yet another comment meant to put him down and remind him, exactly, how far from home he was and how unappreciated his opinions were.

Kurt never said anything and he'd be lying if he said it didn't hurt a little. Obviously, Kurt had things of his own to be dealing with and it wasn't like Blaine needed him to fight his battles for him. But just a brief glimmer of acknowledgment from his boyfriend that Finn was, occasionally, out of line and that the things Blaine said mattered at least a little, would have been appreciated.

Of course, where Kurt chose to be silent (and Blaine chose to believe it was his choice. Because the only thing that would have been worse than his boyfriend wilfully remaining quiet would be if he didn't even know how hurt Blaine was) Sebastian opted to speak up in spades. His retorts flipped from either questioning Finn's general intelligence and ability in bed more than actually validating what Blaine had said, to praising Blaine in excessive.

(Blaine did draw some lines to his friend's somewhat unorthodox tactics of getting his point across. When he found out that Sebastian had photoshopped some rather questionable and inappropriate pictures of Finn that he planned to use to blackmail their captain so that Blaine would have a solo for Sectionals he had immediately gone to him and told him in no uncertain terms that they were not to be distributed and, if they were, he would not only refuse the solo, but drop out of New Directions altogether. He'd also made mention of the fact that Finn was still underage and blushingly stuttered through the words 'child pornography'.)

Whenever they were in the same room, Blaine could always feel Sebastian's eyes on him; seeing him. It was nice, the way Sebastian made him feel. Like he was an actual person and not just Kurt's boyfriend, or a spy for the Warblers, or some interloper who had come to usurp someone else's well-earned position.

But it didn't mean anything. He had just met Sebastian and Blaine had Kurt and he loved him more than he had ever loved anyone. He just craved attention, a flaw of his that had always bothered him. It wasn't like he needed it 24/7 or anything. But he had gone from being the golden boy of Dalton to absolutely no one with no real friends and a boyfriend who was running for class president, planning out his future, and auditioning for the lead in the school musical.

He felt like he spent 90% of his time being invisible.

So what if Sebastian made him remember that he wasn't. It didn't mean anything. Sebastian didn't mean anything. He couldn't.


	2. The Stumble

Blaine had spent all night preparing for his _West Side Story_ audition, practicing both _Maria _and _Something's Coming _over and over again because he couldn't decide which one he would rather do. His voice was a little stronger on the former, but the mood of the latter always thrilled him and he absolutely loved singing it. It was one of the first songs he had ever preformed in front of an audience (the audience being Cooper, his parents, and the next door neighbours at a barbeque).

In the end he had settled on _Something's Coming_, having decided that comfort outweighed the desire to impress, especially since he wasn't reading for the lead. Officer Krupke, if he recalled correctly, didn't even have a singing part.

He walked onto the stage, smiling broadly, completely comfortable and confident in his decisions.

Then, somehow, things had gone very, very wrong. Which is why he went directly from the stage to the punching bag.

"Audition go that poorly?"

Blaine sighed and swung another punch at the bag before catching it. "It was perfect," he grunted out.

"Of course you were." Blaine rolled his eyes at the intentional change of pronoun. "So why do you look like the world is ending?" Sebastian titled his head in genuine curiosity.

"I ended up reading for Tony. It was unexpected."

"Can't have been that unexpected. Everyone knows it's going to be you and Streisand as the leads." He shook his head. "Let's go for a walk. The stench of public school is amplified like 80 times over in this room." He didn't even wait for Blaine to agree before pulling him out to the fields. "So what's the real problem?"

"Kurt's auditioning for Tony."

"Of course. So it's causing trouble in paradise?"

"He doesn't know yet." Blaine kicked out at a stray dandelion.

"And he's, what? Going to resent you when you get it instead of him?"

Blaine didn't say anything. Resent was such a strong word. But he knew how badly Kurt wanted the part and how devastated he would be if it went to anyone else, even if that someone was Blaine.

"Are you shitting-?" Sebastian stopped abruptly, causing Blaine to run into him. "Listen," he gripped Blaine's shoulders tightly and forced him to look up at him. "You are the most talented guys in this whole school. Fuck it, probably the whole state. And if he doesn't-"

"He does. But he needs the part, for NYADA. I don't need it for anything."

Instead of convincing Sebastian, his argument only seemed to annoy him even more.

"He's not going to magically get into NYADA just because he was the lead in one shitty school musical. And it will be shit if he plays Tony."

Blaine didn't wait to hear more, just turned and started walking as quickly as possible back to the gym.

"Calm down there, killer." Sebastian wormed his way between Blaine and the locker room door. "That was a completely objective critique and has nothing to do with the fact that I can't stand to be in the same room as him." Sebastian cocked his head to the side. "Well almost nothing." He smirked. "Just think about every production of West Side Story you've ever seen. Were any of those Tonys Kurt?"

"Look, Sebastian. Kurt is very talented and-"

"Debatable, but we can come back to that later, if you want. I didn't say anything about ladyface's talent." He held his hand up in dismissal as Blaine opened his mouth to argue. "Acting is a brutal industry. You're thrown in the discard pile if the director doesn't like the way you're smiling in your headshot and if you do make the audition you're probably not cast before you even open your mouth. Out there, he would _never_ be cast as Tony. You would be. That is all I'm saying." He shrugged and held his hands up as if to gesture to his innocence and sincerity.

"Even if that were true- and I'm not saying it is, because Kurt is the one who is more talented than everyone else at McKinley, including me, Sebastian.- But if you were right. And he won't be playing parts like this in his future. Doesn't that mean he should be playing them now?" He didn't believe it at all. He knew his boyfriend would go on to do great things, maybe even be a huge star on Broadway. But it was a logical conclusion and Sebastian seemed the type to appreciate logic.

"I can't decide if your innocence shtick is the hottest thing about you or if it makes me want to pelt you with lacrosse balls until you have some sense knocked into you."

"Umm, thanks?" It had been two weeks and Blaine was already learning to get used to never quite knowing where he stood with Sebastian.

"You're an enigma, Blaine Anderson. I'll give you that."

He didn't even bother trying to stifle his derisive snort. There was nothing enigmatic about him, especially when compared to someone like Sebastian, whose middle name might as well have been enigmatic.

"If anyone other than you gets that part, the directors are even dumber than I thought they were."

"Even if that someone was you?" Blaine asked curiously. He knew that Sebastian had auditioned but he hadn't heard what part it had been for.

With an easy shrug Sebastian replied, "Acting has never really been my thing. I'll stick to outshining all the other Jets."

"Do you really think I got it?" Despite himself, he could feel excitement growing in his chest at the thought of it. He allowed himself a brief moment to forget that Kurt was his competition and to revel in the idea, an easy enough task with Sebastian beaming at him like he had just found the cure to cancer or something. And if this guy he'd only met a couple of weeks ago could be so happy (he daren't think the word proud, although maybe he wanted to a little bit) for him then his own loving and supportive boyfriend could be too, right?

xx

**Tony... Blaine Anderson** the cast list hanging in the hallway read.

"What did I tell you?" Sebastian chuckled in his ear and before he knew it, Blaine's feet had left the ground and he was being gripped in strong arms and actually spun around in the middle of the school hallway.

Laughing in elation, Blaine lightly smacked his friend on the shoulder. "Put me down, you idiot." Subconsciously, he scanned the hallway for anyone who wouldn't approve of such an outburst. Not causing a scene was key to surviving the hallways of McKinley. "And look," he said once his feet were firmly back on the ground, "you got your wish too," he tapped his finger next to Sebastian's name. "Action, not too shabby."

"And your boyfriend got Krupke."

"Yeah." Blaine looked around, noticing for the first time that Kurt was the only cast member who wasn't there.

"It's okay to smile," Sebastian told him, jostling their shoulder together, although with the height difference it was more like elbowing Blaine in the upper arm.

"No, you're right." Blaine looked at the list again, his name in bold at the very top and allowed himself another grin.

xx

It wasn't that he was expecting a bouquet of flowers or anything like that from his boyfriend. But he also hadn't been expecting the pervasive icy silence that crept up between them since his audition.

He had thought that if he just gave him some time and space things would be okay again. But it had been three days since the list had been posted and Kurt had barely even glanced at him when they passed each other in the hallways.

Finally he caved and bought his own bouquet, attached a card that said **I'm sorry :-(. I love you. **and had Britt deliver it to him during their joint free period.

When he went to his locker at the end of the day Kurt was already there. "What this?" He asked, waving the bouquet in front of Blaine's face.

"They're flowers, Kurt. Because I miss you. And I'm sorry that I auditioned for Tony too. I wasn't planning to, but then Artie suggested it and it was just such an honor to even be considered for it. I couldn't say no." Shyly he looked up, forcing his eyes to meet Kurt's. "But no part is worth you being mad at me."

"Finn heard you talking to Sebastian," Kurt said abruptly. "After your audition. About how the musical would be," he swallowed hard, "_shit_ if I got Tony."

"I never said that. I would never say that." Blaine let his hand rest against the cool metal of the locker as he gathered his thoughts, trying to remember exactly what had happened that day. "I kept telling him how could an actor you were and how you could be a great Tony."

"Really," Kurt said, arching his eyebrow.

"Kurt," Blaine grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together and holding on as tightly as he could. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you. More than anyone else in the world. And I believe in you. You can do anything."

For the first time in over a week, Kurt genuinely smiled at Blaine, teeth just barely peeking through the normally tight line of his lips. He knew it didn't mean that everything was suddenly 100% okay because Kurt's eyes were still tightly guarded but it was a step, at least. And besides, it was really hard for Blaine to not believe in them when Kurt was smiling at him in a way that lit up his entire world.

xx

Two weeks before opening night, Artie suggested that he couldn't play Tony correctly if he hadn't had sex. It left Blaine embarrassed and flustered and he couldn't stop himself from thinking about whether or not it was true. He knew love but he had never experienced that kind of passion, had only ever dreamed about it, really.

But he and Kurt were still a little rocky after their last fight and Kurt had made it clear that he wasn't ready and had made no indications that he had changed his mind about that. They had agreed to take things slow and they hadn't even progressed to hand jobs yet, never mind full blown sex. They had made out exactly once since the audition.

So he resigned himself to being an imperfect Tony who had only ever had his right hand for company.

His right hand which was getting increasingly more and more use because the thought was there now. Not that it hadn't ever been before. But Blaine had spent the last several months developing the, frankly, remarkable talent of not thinking about what sex with his boyfriend would be like. Thoughts like that would only drive him absolutely crazy so he pushed them away.

But since his and Rachel's conversation with Artie it was almost all he could think about. Even if all they were doing was innocently standing backstage. But really, backstage offered so many darkened corners and it wasn't Blaine's fault that Kurt was wearing the most sinfully tight pants that clung to him in all the right ways and-

"Blaine," Sebastian greeted him as he slipped in through the stage door, top two buttons of his shirt done up wrong, hair disheveled, and generally looking thoroughly satiated. "Hummel." 'Politely he inclined his head in Kurt's direction too.

"Cutting it a bit close, aren't you?" Blaine asked. Technically, they were supposed to have started five minutes before, but there had been some sort set related crisis that Artie had been dealing with. Reluctantly he pulled his eyes away from the pale strip of skin that had just become exposed as Kurt stretched out his arm.

"What do you say you ditch your nighttime skin cleansing ritual, or whatever oh-so-exciting things you get up to at night and come out with my to Scandals tomorrow? Boys night out, or whatever."

"Scandals is the gay bar in West Lima," Blaine whispered to his boyfriend. He had heard of it before bur never been. After he shakingly came out to the Warblers, Wes insisted on a night out 'to show their support' and Scandals had been on the list. In the end they settled on a place in Columbus, deciding a gay bar made it enough of an adventure without adding the trek out to Lima.

"Oh," Kurt said in surprise.

"T-thank you for the offer, Sebastian. That's really very nice of you. But that, that just isn't our kind of thing." It might have sometimes been his thing, but he couldn't imagine Kurt enjoying someplace like Scandals, especially with Sebastian as company.

"Let's do it," Kurt announced instead, surprising Blaine. He was staring unflinchingly at Sebastian, shoulders tensed in challenge.

"What?"

"Yeah." Kurt's fingers gripped into Blaine's forearm possessively.

"Great." Sebastian looked far too amused for his own good. "I'll invite the other guys too, but I can't see any of them being interested once I mention the destination. Chang, maybe."

"He's a good guy like that." Blaine smiled, pleased that Sebastian was at least making the effort to get to know other people at McKinley.

"Places!" Artie yelled.

"I'll get your fakes tonight. Unless you already have some?" Sebastian winked at Blaine.

"Uhh, no. No, we don't have fakes." He had lost his when he misplaced his wallet the year before. Since then he hadn't had a reason to get a new one. Until now.

"Now!" Artie yelled again.

xx

Scandals wasn't anything like Blaine had imagined it being. Instead it was a lonely looking building in the middle of a parking lot that could never hope to be filled. The inside was hardly better. Maybe it was better on the weekends when there were more people there.

"This isn't very scandalous," Mike commented as they took in the interior. It looked a lot like a normal bar, except for the drag queens, fairy lights and disco ball. There was also the wholly unsubtle use of what Blaine decided to politely label as 'decorative roosters' throughout the room.

"I really don't like that guy," Kurt muttered as they caught sight of Sebastian sitting at the bar surrounded by a bunch of drinks.

Blaine rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut, not wanting to get into another argument about Sebastian, especially not on a night that was supposed to be about them having fun.

"Beers for you two," Sebastian said, handing Blaine and Mike their drinks. "And for Kurt, a Shirley Temple with extra cherries. I heard you're the designated driver. Like all the time." He sneered. "Cheers boys. To the glamorous life." He said, raising his drink and clinking it against the beer bottles and pointedly ignoring Kurt's glass.

"Cheers!" Mike said enthusiastically.

It took two songs for the music to pull Mike away and by the time Blaine had finished his beer, he was more than ready to join him. Kurt, however, was looking less than interested.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" asked Blaine. The siren sound of music was calling him away but he didn't want to just leave Kurt on his own.

"It's fine. Maybe I'll join you in a little bit. Go have fun."

Sebastian shrugged and wandered over to where Mike was engaged in a dance-off with the only lesbian in the bar. Blaine spared Kurt one last concerned glance before joining him. It wasn't long before the two of them broke away from the bigger group of onlookers and started dancing on their own.

It was fun. In fact, Blaine didn't remember the last time he'd just relaxed and had just let go like that. Everything had been so stressful since he'd transferred and he'd almost forgotten what it was like to just not think about it for a night. He made sure to look over at Kurt every few minutes, just to make sure he was still doing alright. He was relieved to see him strike up conversation with whoever it was that sat down next to him, glad that he wasn't on his own anymore.

"Woah," exclaimed Blaine as his space was suddenly being crowded by a middle aged, too sweaty, balding man. He tried to dance away, closer to Sebastian, but his new friend was persistent and only followed, pressing himself against Blaine's back. Desperately, Blaine threw a look of panic at Sebastian.

"Oh, young Jedi. I have much to teach you about rebuking the unwanted affections of men." Neatly, Sebastian twirled them away and threw a possessive glare at the man who had been trying to hit on Blaine.

"I'm older than you, you do realize that?" Blaine asked absently, mimicking the spin and adding a few sidesteps of his own.

"Really?" Sebastian had to yell a bit to be heard over the music. "When's your birthday?"

Swinging his hips in time with the music, Blaine slid closer to his friend so he wouldn't wreck his voice by yelling back at him. "July."

"February. Pretty sure that makes me older."

"Only if you had to repeat your freshman year of high school too." It slipped out before he even realized he had been thinking it. It was information he had never volunteered to anyone before. Most people, if they knew how old he actually was, just assumed he started Kindergarten late.

Suddenly everything was too much. The air was too hot, the music was too loud, there were too many people around. Feeling like his head was wrapped up in a fog, he all but ran from the dance floor and out the front door, stopping only for a confused second as the man working at the door stamped his hand.

As soon as he made it outside he started gulping in lungfuls of air, each one coming quicker and quicker as his chest got tighter and tighter. Vaguely, he realized he was hyperventilating but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't stop himself from taking yet another useless, gasping breath.

"Easy there, killer." He hadn't even realized that Sebastian had followed him outside, but suddenly he was being lead to over to the curb and forced to sit down with his head between his legs. A soothing hand swept back and forth across his back while Sebastian's voice slowly murmured in his ear, "There you go. Just breathe. You're okay. Stop thinking about it. Just breathe."

It took a couple of minutes, but by concentrating on the combination of his friend's voice and his hand rubbing at his back, Blaine soon managed to achieve a more steady pace to his ragged inhales and exhales. Hastily, he wiped at the tears that he hadn't known had fallen, not wanting Sebastian to see them.

"Sorry," he muttered as he feebly made to pull away. He didn't want to impose on Sebastian any more than he already had, even though all he really wanted was to collapse against the taller boy in exhaustion.

"Don't be ridiculous." Instead of letting him go, Sebastian only tugged him closer, wrapping one arm firmly around Blaine and practically forcing his head to rest on his shoulder. "Stop fidgeting," he commanded when Blaine tried to pull away again. "I bruise easily."

He could hear Sebastian's heart beating out a calming rhythm and he let himself be lulled by it, synching his breathing to it and letting it anchor him down.

"I never talk about that. I'm not even sure if Kurt knows," he admitted. "Unless one of the Warblers told him."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He felt Sebastian swallow hard before saying. "It's nothing to be ashamed of or anything. Plenty of people-"

"It's not about shame." The combination of panic attack and beer left him feeling lightheaded and loose-tongued. "My friend and I were jumped at a dance. Because we were gay. These four guys beat the daylights out of us. He was in the hospital for two weeks. I was there almost two months." His voice took on a deadened tone as he recalled the incident.

"When I got out there were only a few weeks left in the school year. And all the paperwork was already signed for me to transfer to Dalton. They were really understanding about it. They gave me the summer to make up all my work and earn enough credits to stay a sophomore. But…" he shrugged and trailed off. It was the part of the story that he had absolutely never told anyone who wasn't a trained professional. He hadn't even talked to his parents about it, although they, obviously, were aware.

"I didn't learn to read until I was almost 6," Sebastian said when it became clear that Blaine wasn't going to immediately keep talking. "Apparently, I just needed glasses but no one realized it. I remember I used to sneak into my father's library after everyone had gone to sleep and take his books off the shelves and just stare at the pages for hours, waiting for them to start making sense."

Blaine smiled as Sebastian shared his story. It was clearly something he wasn't comfortable talking about based on the overly determined way he was speaking, like he was forcing it to be more casual than it was. It gave him the courage to continue his own.

"School work was suddenly hard for me. I had a lot of trouble w-with concentrating." He could feel his throat tightening up again and he had to take a minute to compose himself to keep from crying. "I didn't tell anyone about it for a long time. I just didn't do my work. Everyone thought that the depression was making me apathetic. When I started at Dalton… The guys do everything together there but I was always struggling with my homework. So I got help with that too. Learned all sorts of tricks and things like that to keep my mind focused. And it's gotten better, naturally. It's still easiest when I do my work aloud, though, which is why I spend all my time in study hall doodling."

"Then you just go home and spend all night alone in your room talking to yourself?"

Blaine shrugged already regretting that he had opened up to Sebastian. Even though he rarely meant it, there was just something about the other boy that sometimes made him feel small and inadequate.

"I didn't mean it like-" Sebastian huffed and gently griped Blaine's chin between his fingers and tilting his head back so they were looking at each other. "You should call me instead. We're taking most of the same classes. And I've always wanted to learn Spanish."

"Really?" Blaine could feel himself getting overwhelmed again. It was the part of himself that he hated the most. How the nightmare didn't just stop the moment the pain did, it kept going and going, living in his own head. It was something he couldn't accept about himself and certainly not anything he ever expected anyone else to accept in him.

"Maybe it will even inspire me to do my own homework," joked Sebastian. "I'm sure my teachers will all be relieved."

"It would be irresponsible of me not to then. Can't have you failing out of McKinley."

"That would be pretty embarrassing. Guess you'll have to save me from myself."

"Guess so," Blaine let out a watery chuckle.

"Let's get back inside. Have another drink then you and Tinkerbell can head on home."

"What about you?" The thought of another drink sounded nice, but he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to head back inside.

Sebastian just winked before helping him up. They flashed their stamps at the door, although the man sitting there looked like he couldn't care less. Kurt was still sitting at the bar, although the burly stranger he had been chatting with earlier had disappeared and been replaced by Mike, who seemed to be telling a very intricate and detailed story.

"Hey," he murmured to Kurt, sliding onto the bar stool next to him and letting his hand rest on his boyfriend's thigh. He felt his leg tense beneath it, but chalked it up to not being used to such public displays of affection. He gave his leg a reassuring squeeze as he accepted another beer from the bartender.

"Let's dance," Kurt chirped. With a hop and a shimmy he was out of his seat, beckoning Blaine to follow him. Despite how tired he had been only minutes ago, Blaine was on his feet in a second, happy that Kurt was finally showing interest in dancing.

They stayed for another forty minutes before saying goodnight. Although Mike came with them, he decided to stay and try his hand at playing Sebastian's wingman. After making him promise to text them when he got home, they stumbled their way outside. (Well, Blaine stumbled and Kurt tripped over his unwieldy limbs.)

He felted elated and giddy with Kurt's arms snug around him. He wanted to spend always like that; mind just a little blurred (by his own choice) and warm and safe and loved.

When they reached the car, Kurt insisted he lay down in the backseat. Playfully, he pulled Kurt down on top of him and began kissing up his neck and letting his hands roam, still frustratingly mindful of the 'no hands south of the equator' rule.

"Bl-Blaine. Okay. Okay, alright. Stop," Kurt gasped out, voice even higher than normal, as one of Blaine's hands accidentally brushed over his ass. "Stop," he said a little more firmly.

"Please, Kurt," He begged. "Please? We haven't in ages. I miss this. Miss us. Just us. Together. Please." He whimpered and tried to pull Kurt back down.

"Yes." Kurt yanked himself away. "_Us._ Sorry I don't want to be intimate with you on a night you spent most of with some other guy." He scrambled out of the car and Blaine struggled after him. "I noticed that you two disappeared together," he glared spitefully.

Blaine felt like he had been sucker punched in the gut. While he had been hysterical outside Kurt had just sat there. Had he seen him run out and just chose to do nothing or had it taken time for him to notice? He didn't really know which was worse but either way Kurt hadn't come to find him.

Bracing his hands on the frame of the car, he pushed himself out of it.

"Where are you going?" Kurt yelled after him, distress lacing his voice.

The emotional yo-yoing of his night had left him exhausted, by the last thing he wanted to do was get back in that car. "I think I'm just going to walk home," he yelled over his shoulder as he walked off into the darkness.


	3. The Fall

After all the _West Side Story _ and presidential race drama was resolved, there were a few glorious weeks of peace. Or as much peace as McKinley every offered. The jocks seemed to have gotten bored of tormenting them and, while some of the old drama continued to drag itself along, nothing new emerged.

Something weird was going on with Puck and Quinn and Ms. Corcoran, but like the rest of the glee club, Blaine chose to ignore it and let them sort it out themselves. Really, that seemed like the best way to deal with all of New Direction's problems: their relationships were, at best, complicated and despite his best efforts, Blaine couldn't even hope to understand them and alliances changed faster than the weather.

They should have been expecting the oncoming storm, but somehow it still took all of them by surprise.

Everyone knew that Finn and Santana had problems with each other. He had never trusted her and she for whatever reason she detested him. Things had only gotten worse between them since Santana had convinced Brittany to defect to the Troubletones. And instead of looking at why the club was losing so many of their talented members, Finn seemed determined to place the blame on her.

Things came to a head one day in the hallway. Their typical bickering rapidly spiralling from childish remarks to Finn shouting about Santana's sexuality and her relationship with Brittany up the hallway. It wasn't like people didn't suspect, but that had been all it was, suspicions and gossip. Now, it was confirmed.

It was all anyone was talking about.

And when Santana jumped off the stage and slapped Finn across the face following the Troubletone's mash-up, everyone had been surprised but a large part of Blaine honestly couldn't blame her. He knew what it was like to struggle with his sexuality and while he strongly believed it was for the best to be open and honest about who you were, he would also never, ever condone pushing someone to come out before they were ready or, even worse, outing them yourself.

Shots had been fired on both sides and no one thought it would go beyond that.

And then they walked through the school doors on Monday morning. The halls were lined with the photoshopped pictures of Finn that Sebastian had assured him had all disappeared. (Although he had taken Blaine's advice about distributing child pornography and had covered Finn's nether region with an embarrassingly small clipart pink teddy bear.) Rachel, Finn, and Kurt were frantically running around the school tearing them down and cursing Santana.

Somehow, though, new posters just kept finding their way up onto the walls during every class period.

In the middle of English a timid looking boy knocked on the door and stuttered out that Sebastian's presence was wanted in Figgin's office. Sebastian didn't look even remotely alarmed and instead something that looked a lot like pride flickered across his face as he swung his satchel over his shoulder and sauntered from the room.

The next time he saw Sebastian was when he was on his way to glee club. Sebastian was at his locker stuffing what looked like every book he had into his bag. Quickly he checked the hallway to make sure that Kurt or Rachel weren't around before making crossing the hall.

"Need some help there? You might want to hurry up or you'll be late for glee."

"About that. I won't be going. For the rest of the week."

He knew that Sebastian took glee less seriously than pretty much everyone else but they were getting close to Sectionals and already short members, they really couldn't afford the few people they had to skip. "Is that really a good idea?"

"Don't have much of a choice, killer. Figgins seemed to take issue with my 'little stunt'."

"So you've been kicked out of glee?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Suspended for the week. Although I managed to convince him my father would prefer it if it didn't go on my permanent record. It's nice to know the Smythe name has some leverage, even in a shity town like this."

Blaine watched as Sebastian struggled to fit his math book into his bag before giving it up and shifting it under his left arm with a shrug. "Finn was right, though. The whole school already knew. Why'd you do it?"

"It's not just the school, Blaine. That asshole, Salazar found out. His daughter or niece or something goes to McKinley and she overheard. He made Santana the centrepiece of his latest ad. Everyone in Ohio is going to know by the end of the week."

"Can he even do that?"

"Who's going to stop him?" Sebastian's lips curled up in disdain. "Santana's family who doesn't even know yet and couldn't afford the lawsuit anyways? Your oh-so-accepting family, or mine? Please, no one cares. Unless you want to convince her to get the ACLU involved, she's just some _dyke_ who got what was coming to her," Sebastian spat.

"Don't call her that." He knew that Sebastian didn't mean it, didn't think of her as one. But it still hurt to hear him say it.

"Someone needed to teach Hudson that his words have consequences. No one else was stepping up to the plate, so I offered my services. I don't regret it."

"Those pictures could ruin his life."

With a scowl, Sebastian stepped in closer, towering over him and crowding Blaine against the wall of lockers. "His little announcement could ruin hers. But no one cares about that. Besides, his pathetic excuse of a life was ruined the moment he was born. Hudson is an incompetent loser with no talent and no potential who will never amount to anything. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm technically not allowed to be on school property right now."

The more Blaine thought about it, the more he understood why Sebastian did what he did. He didn't agree with it, or condone it. But he understood it and part of him even begrudgingly respected him for how loyal a friend he was, especially when he saw Santana in school on Tuesday and realized that Sebastian had probably taken the full blame to keep her from any more trouble.

xx

It was with a sense of triumphant jubilation that the rest of the New Directions received the news of Sebastian's suspension, despite the fact that Sectionals were right around the corner. Even those who were trying to steer clear of the Finn/Santana conflict were inordinately pleased by the event.

In yet another example of the McKinley hierarchy that Blaine would never be quiet able to understand, the lacrosse team was untouchable. This had something to do with the fact that, not only did they not need to strap on a million pounds of padding to run around body-checking each other, but they also had parents who not only had attorneys, but were more than happy to call them at a moment's notice. As far as Sebastian's sexuality was concerned they operated on a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy and happily ignored the rumors that circulated the hallways about him.

(Sebastian had confided that an additional reason for this willful ignorance was the fact that it pissed the football and hockey teams off so much that he was accepted by them. Not, Sebastian had added, that either of those teams would actually be dumb enough to try anything against him, all things considered, but the added assurance was a nice one. When Blaine had asked what he meant by that Sebastian had just smirked and cryptically muttered something about everyone having secrets.)

But, most importantly, what all of this meant was that Sebastian hadn't been subjected to any of the abuse that the rest of the New Directions had so frequently endured. Apparently his suspension was a start towards making up for it.

xx

Day four after the poster incident and it was still Kurt's preferred topic of conversation. While things might not have been perfect between the two of them since the night they went to Scandals there had been a definite improvement and they both were loathe to digress on that front. Fortunately for him, Rachel was more than willing to carry on the other half of the conversation while Blaine sat stoically to the side and planned out his outfits for the next week and mused over which bowties would best go with them.

Less fortunately, this meant that Kurt had gotten used to having a constant audience for his rants and had somehow established the unthinking belief that Blaine would continue to serve this purpose in Rachel's absence.

"...They could have talked to Finn. I love him, but he's not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box. He didn't understand what he was doing and I know he's sorry for it." Kurt's arms were crossed defensively over his chest and he looked angry enough to spit as they walked up the empty hallways of McKinley after a late rehearsal where, yet again, absolutely nothing was accomplished.

"Yeah, sure," snapped Blaine without thinking. He and Sebastian had been up until almost 3 working on an impossible Chemistry set, then in the morning a jock 'accidentally' bumped into him and caused him to spill his coffee all over one of his favorite shirts and, to round out the day, he had been completely shut down in glee once again. "They could have talked to him. Because Finn is such a reasonable person," Blaine snorted. He knew he was making this about more than just went he had done to Santana, but months of annoyance at Kurt's step-brother were finally bubbling over.

Abruptly Kurt came to a stop, arms tightening over his chest as his glare intensified, this time directed at his boyfriend. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Stopping too, Blaine threw his hands in the air in frustration. "He's done nothing but give me crap since the day I got here. Every suggestion either I or Sebastian has made about how to help the glee club the entire year has been dismissed out of hand. He doesn't even listen to what we have to say, he just tells us to sit down because we're at McKinley now."

Kurt's eyes narrowed at Sebastian's name. "Because you're trying to change everything. He's right. McKinley isn't Dalton."

"No," Blaine let out a deprecating laugh. "No. The Warblers aren't a joke." Vaguely he recognized that those were Sebastian's words and not his, however much he might privately agree with the sentiment, but he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "You spend all your time wrapped up in petty jealousies and bickering over who is going to have solos for the set list you haven't even thought about. Sectionals is in a few weeks and we haven't done anything for it. I can guarantee you that the Warblers, and every other group out there, has been working on their performances for at least a week, if not longer. You went to Nationals last year with no concept of what you were doing!"

"At least we made it to Nationals."

"The New Directions tied with the Warblers at Sectionals, only just won Regionals and didn't even place at Nationals," Blaine pointed out, feeling the need to defend his old choir. "Everyone in the group is so talented, Kurt. And it's really frustrating because you could be so incredible if you only had a little more discipline. You all want to win, but you don't want to work for it."

"Why do you keep saying you?" Kurt cried out, because apparently that had been the only thing he took from Blaine's outburst. "You're a part of the New Directions too!"

"And everyone has done such a good job of making me feel like it." He sighed heavily, the fight draining out of him just as quickly as it came. He shook his head as though he was just coming to his senses. "I have to get home. I'll talk to you later, Kurt."

They never kissed at school. Even though everyone knew they were together, there was no reason to invite unwanted trouble by being unnecessarily affectionate. They both wished it could be different, but experience had taught both of them better than to flaunt their sexuality. And even though Blaine was upset, at Kurt and also in general, he really, really needed a kiss from his boyfriend right then.

Surreptitiously he looked to make sure the hall was still empty before leaning in to quickly peck at Kurt's lips, only to have Kurt flinch away from him.

"Right. Sorry," he muttered, biting at his lip at the hot, prickling sensation welling up in the back of his eyes. Kurt reached out to grab at his upper arm, but Blaine shook him off and hurried, head down, out to his car.

Taking deep breaths, he sat behind the wheel for a couple of minutes, just staring out the window. He knew he should apologize for the things he said, even if he had meant most of them, at least a little bit, he didn't need to unload on Kurt like that. The transfer had been a lot more difficult than he had thought it was going to be and it wasn't Kurt's fault that he felt so alone.

_Later._ He thought because he had only just managed to get his hands to stop trembling. He'd go home and call Kurt after dinner.

(Of course, he didn't take into account the fact that Sebastian would be calling him earlier than normal. Or the fact that they would stay on the phone, casually chatting and doing homework together until 3.00 in the morning for the second night in a row. By the time he had hung up, Blaine had completely forgotten about the call he had been planning on making.)

xx

The fact that not only did they have three songs prepared for Sectionals, but that they actually somehow managed to come in first would always be mind-boggling to Blaine. A little over two week before Sectional's, Rachel had not only been suspended, but also banned from participating in the competition. At the last minute Finn had gone down to Kentucky and somehow convinced one of their old members, Sam Evans, to transfer back to McKinley.

Not wanting to disrupt the delicate peace they had somehow managed to establish, Blaine kept his opinions to himself on the fact that acquiring one member whose main contribution (other than an additional body that could sing) was the suggestion that they should add body rolls to their routine didn't exactly guarantee them anything.

(And he had almost lost it at the suggestion of incorporating stripper moves into their dances not only because that was not him and never would be, but also because he had been shut down for months and suddenly, within a day of waltzing in, Sam had all the answers. He was just lucky that Sebastian had objected, rudely and loudly, first otherwise some truly undapper things would have come out of his mouth. Probably something along the lines of informing Sam that he, at least, wasn't for sale.)

All of that, combined with the fact that Quinn was clearly scheming something that was pissing Puck off meant that they went into Sectionals more divided than they had been all year. And, despite the fact that they came out with a trophy, it really didn't feel that much like a win at all.

xx

He could feel the distance growing between himself and his boyfriend. Even when they were sitting right next to each, they might as well have been in different rooms. They still did all the same things they used to do; biweekly trips to the mall, afternoon dates at the Lima Bean, eating lunch together every day. And maybe he had just never noticed it before, but suddenly he was aware of just how frequently they weren't alone.

When they were at the Hummel's they were almost always downstairs, gossiping away with Carol and helping her prepare dinner, or else trying to explain the social complexities of Jersey Shore to Finn, who was really only interested in the size of Snooki's chest. Otherwise Mercedes and Rachel (now that she and Kurt were back on speaking terms) were around. Kurt was convinced he and the girls needed new wardrobes for the final spring of their high school career and Mercedes seemed to have developed a new caffeine addiction.

Every time he suggested something they could do on their own, Kurt was suddenly busy. He had to help Burt in the shop or he needed to practice for his NYADA audition.

In fact, it seemed like the only thing they ever talked about, just them, was NYADA and New York.

And, if Blaine were honest with himself, it wasn't just Kurt. He suddenly was making more and more frequent trips out to Westerville and had developed an obsession with getting his homework done early.

He was so proud of Kurt for going after his dream and equally sure that he'd be able to achieve. He just didn't want to hear about it all the time. Because Kurt's future meant New York and New York meant leaving Blaine behind. Really he couldn't be blamed for wanting to talk to anyone else about anything else. And if he distanced himself from Kurt now, maybe he'd be used to it when it really mattered.

Maybe the distance was just as much his fault as it was Kurt's. That didn't make it hurt any less every time his boyfriend giggled at whatever text message he had just received while they caught up on the latest episode of _Say Yes to the Dress._

xx

The texting started a week before Christmas break.

He had assumed that Kurt's texting partner was Mercedes (Rachel could never make him laugh like that. If anything his conversations with her were filled with derisive snorts). But then the texts started happening during glee and he could very clearly see that Mercedes wasn't on her phone.

He tried to ask, but the words kept getting caught in his throat. Kurt could have friends that he didn't know about and he was pretty sure he was just imagining the flush on the back of his boyfriend's neck whenever he looked at his phone.

Once he even thought about sneaking the phone away to take a peek while Kurt was brushing his teeth before one of their increasingly half-hearted, scheduled make out sessions. His hand was half way to the bedside table when he realized he was afraid of what he would find and it was with a sigh of relief that he snatched it back as Kurt returned to the room.

Paranoid jealousy really wasn't a good look on him so he pushed it to the back of his mind. He loved Kurt and trusted him more than anyone in the world- trusted him to tell him when his hair was out of place, or when something was wrong in their relationship.

For the next few weeks made himself forget about it. Text messages were just text messages. Maybe Kurt had subscribed to one of those stupid joke of the day mailing lists or something.

Come the end of January he believed it enough that he didn't hesitate to grab Kurt's phone as it sat constantly buzzing on the bedside table while he was downstairs preparing a snack platter for them. Rachel could be very persistent when she wanted to be and the vibrating was going to drive him crazy soon.

Only it wasn't Rachel.

**Chandler Keihl  
**_when we go to New York lets go to the front of the Plaza and reenact the end of the way we were_

With shaking hands, he typed in Kurt's password and quickly scrolled through the other messages he had been sent from Chandler. He felt sick.

The creak of the stairs alerted him to the fact that his boyfriend was coming back. He threw the phone down like it had burned him and grabbed his satchel from the chair he had left it on.

"I just remembered, I promised my mom I'd help her with dinner tonight," he lied as he all but rushed out the door. He imagined Kurt's look of confusion but couldn't bring himself to look at him.

xx

Blaine had barely collapsed onto his bed before his hands were fumbling for his phone and dialling Sebastian's number from memory.

"What's up, killer? I thought you had big plans for this evening?" Sebastian's cheerful voice greeted him, the television playing quietly in the background.

"Plans change," he said as calmly as he could, voice cracking at the end to belie his efforts. "Things change."

"Everything okay over there?" There was a rustling as Sebastian sat up and a sudden silence as the TV was clicked off.

"Peachy," Blaine croaked. His body had gone cold and he was struggling to keep the inevitable onslaught of tears at bay.

"I'll be there in twenty." The line went dead before Blaine had time to argue that he'd be fine on his own and Sebastian should just stay at home.

When Sebastian got there, Blaine was huddled in the middle of his bed, eyes crimson from crying. After sending a message that the door was open and he should just come up, Blaine tried his hardest to look normal, running a hand through his hair and straightening his bowtie.

"What the fuck did he do this time," Sebastian took one look at Blaine and snarled, carelessly tossing his jacket onto the chair in the corner of the room.

Blaine started crying again. Immediately, Sebastian was at his side, cradling him close and running soothing hands up and down his arms.

"Tacky," Sebastian snorted when Blaine finished detailing every message he had seen. "I would never stoop so low as to use cheesy pickup lines to tell you that you have a fantastic ass."

Blaine cracked a tired smile. Spilling everything to Sebastian had really calmed him down a lot. At least now he was able to talk almost normally without breaking down in the middle of a sentence. "No. You just say things like that. All the time. And I do nothing to stop you." He really was just as guilty as Kurt was. Letting Sebastian talk to him like he did, enjoying it even.

"You aren't the one hiding it from your boyfriend."

"It would be hard to do that, since you insist on doing it right in front of him."

Sitting up so his back rested against the headboard of Blaine's bed, Sebastian shrugged, smile playing across his lips. "I thought it would give us something to bond over." The smile twitched wider as Blaine let out a watery laugh. "Isn't that how you make new friends? Find common interests? Things both parties have a mutual appreciation for?"

"And my ass is the topic you settled on?" He couldn't quite keep the grin from his lips because Sebastian might just be the most ridiculous person he had ever met. "There was nothing else you could think of?"

"Nothing else sprang to mind."

"You guys actually have a lot in common. You're more similar than you think you are."

"Then there's really no hope for us. People like me don't get along with, well, other people like me."

"You get along with Santana pretty well." Much to the regret of pretty much everyone at McKinley, he didn't add but thought it loud enough that they both heard it.

"Looking at Shaqueera is like looking in a mirror. She's not like me, she _is_ me. But shorter, with tits, and a better tan."

That was a horrifying, albeit accurate, thought if Blaine had ever heard one. The two of them lapsed into silence, Blaine staring at the ceiling and Sebastian's eyeing his bookshelf, looking for any new additions. It was a nice silence, the kind that was just there but didn't mean anything: borne out of comfort, not avoidance.

Of course, both kids of silence always left too much time for thinking.

"We're more than that though, aren't we?" Blaine asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position too. "More than your assertions that..." he tried to think up a way to accurately summarize the excessive compliments that Sebastian offered up so easily.

"-you're sex on a stick and sing like a dream?"

"Yeah. That." Blaine's face flushed scarlet as he said it and he couldn't help but duck his head in embarrassment. "I mean, we did spend two hours debating what superpower would be the least useful to have last night."

"You debated. I went _mmm_ and _yeah_ a lot," Sebastian corrected with a grin. Every time Blaine had asked for his opinion he had adamantly reminded him that his knowledge of superheroes was limited to the X-Men, Spiderman, and Batman movie franchises and Batman didn't even really have superpowers, did he? Just a bunch of fancy gadgets and the ability to make his voice sound like he spent all his spare time chain smoking gravel.

"Exactly like I do when you start blathering on about all the ways French philosophers are superior to their German counterparts."

"It's not that they're superior. But you can't deny that the French psyche better lends itself to-"

"Mmm," agreed Blaine with feigned interest, causing Sebastian to playfully knock their shoulders together and stick his tongue out like a five year-old..

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably and his forefinger started tapping out a rhythm on his thigh, a sign that he was thinking hard about what he was going to say. Next to him, Blaine was hyper-concentrating on plucking stray threads from his blanket to keep his friend from feeling pressured to talk. Sebastian could probably flawlessly perform in front of a 10,000 person crowd without breaking a sweat, but sit him down for a one on one conversation relating to feelings or emotions and he was suddenly more skittish than a horse in a thunderstorm.

"Of course it's more than that. Don't be stupid. We're, you know, friends, I guess. Friends who just happen to really like each others' asses."

"I never said anything about liking your ass," Blaine protested quickly. Too quickly, really.

Sebastian snorted. "Please, killer. Blind, straight men like my ass."

There were some things it was better for Blaine to just not know about. Why the other boy sounded quite so confident in that exact statement was definitely one of them. "And that's it?"

"That's it," grimaced Sebastian in agreement.

They were sitting close together, just like they always did. Blaine could count the freckles on Sebastian's face, could feel the heat radiating from his body. It was a joke, saying there was nothing else between them and they both knew it. Especially in moments like this, when it was them and only them.

Just them...

Blaine leaned forward and Sebastian let out a huff of surprise as their lips slotted together.

Sebastian's lips were rough and cracked from too much time spent out in the cold and too little lip balm applied and they scratched against Blaine's in a way he had never experienced before. It was a new and heady sensation and he wanted more. Eagerly, he pressed himself closer, hands coming up to rest on the other boy's shoulders while Sebastian's slipped around his waist to pull him closer.

Sebastian's phone pinged with an incoming text message. They ignored it.

"Seb," Blaine sighed against his lips, biting back a whimper as fingers began lightly stroking up and down his side. "_Seb_."

Breathing heavily, Sebastian jerked himself away. Before Blaine knew what was happening, Sebastian was fleeing out the door, down the hallway, and screeching out of his driveway. The only signs he had even been there were Blaine's slightly rumpled bed sheets and Sebastian's leather jacket left behind on his chair.

* * *

**Thank you so much to everyone who favourited and reviewed the first two parts! You're the greatest. Not sure when part 4 will be up, theoretically I have a lot of course work to do next week then I'm off to NYC for a week, so it might not be until the beginning of July. **


	4. The Ground

A memory tickled the back of his mind. Although he had no recollection of it actually occurring, so maybe it wasn't a memory at all, just the distorted remnants of a dream with edges that seemed just this side of too real.

A late phone conversation. Sebastian was drunk after a night out, Blaine was more asleep than not, wrapped up in the fog of Nyquil, sniffling and lamenting that he spent the majority of December sick with a never ending cold.

A long pause. A deep sigh.

"Sometimes I wonder..."

Blaine's hummed in inquiry, too sleepy to form coherent words.

"I wonder what it would be like. To not be someone's mistake."

"I don't even know what that means." Once, in a fit of anger, Cooper had told him that he'd been a mistake, that their parents had never wanted him and that's why there was so many years between them. Blaine had stuffed his batman backpack full of clothing and toys and made it to the next neighborhood before he'd gotten scared. He'd curled up and cried in some other boy's tree house until his father's frantic shouts echoed up the street.

Somehow he thought Sebastian meant something different.

"Like you have. With him. He's not a middle aged closet case looking for ways to hate his life more."

Blaine laughed. "That might be the nicest thing you've ever said about him."

"I just." Another sigh. "Sometimes I wonder if sex would be better if it wasn't tinted by regret."

"Only one way to find out."

Sebastian's low chuckle. "Is that an invitation?"

"Shu'up."

They were quite for a while as Blaine shifted around on his bed, trying to find a position to lay in that let him breathe. "They can't all be like that," he reasoned.

"H'mm?" Sebastian asked, apparently having lost track on the conversation. "Maybe not. Feels like it sometimes."

It was all he remembered, nothing before or after and it had spent weeks, if not months, buried in the recesses of his mind.

He might just be the biggest asshole ever.

xx

Monday morning, before homeroom, he told Kurt that he had kissed somebody.

"It was Sebastian, wasn't it?" was the first thing Kurt said.

Kurt's eyes were hardened and every muscle in his body was tense. There was a finality in his tone and Blaine could feel his entire world crumbling around him; too late to do anything and with no hope of salvaging anything from the wreckage.

"No," he found himself lying. Not for him, but for Sebastian who hadn't done anything except be accosted by him. "It wasn't Sebastian."

"Who was it then?"

It didn't matter who it was, even if it was Sebastian. What mattered was that he hadn't felt like a real boyfriend since October. That, mentally, Kurt had already left for New York and apparently gotten himself a new boyfriend to go with his new life.

"I-I c-c-can't do this. D-don't you think I've had temptations?" Kurt's face was paler than normal and tears were streaming down his face. "But I didn't-"

"Why don't you save it for Chandler. I'm sure he'd understand better than I do," Blaine snapped. Kurt had every right to be hurt but he had no right to the moral high ground.

"C-chandler? I don't" Kurt shook his head. "Who told you about Chandler?"

"No one told me anything." It stung more than it should. He was fairly positive that Rachel, Mercedes, and Sam all knew, if not more of the glee club. "You're phone kept buzzing. I thought it was Rachel. I was going to tell her you were in the kitchen but you'd reply to her as soon as you were done. You've been talking to him for _weeks_."

"So you went out and grabbed the first warm body you could find? Texting isn't cheating, Blaine."

Blaine had only seen a handful of those texts, but there was certainly nothing platonic about them.

Before he could say anything else, Kurt had let out a strangled sob, clapped his hand over his mouth, and was running off towards the choir room.

xx

His head was either too full or too empty. If everything just stopped, maybe he could figure out which one it was. He should be able to tell the difference. There was a difference, a big one, between empty and full. And if he could just think for one second he would know what that difference was.

His math textbook had been open in front of him for an hour. So far all he'd managed was to write his name and to copy out the first problem.

With a sigh he opened up his laptop and logged onto Skype. He let his mouse hover over Sebastian's name before clicking to start a video call.

"I was just about to start English," Sebastian said wearily as soon as his face was visible. He looked tired too, skin pale and dark bags under his eyes. His hair was sticking up in all directions from having running his hands through it in frustration so many times.

"Math. But I still need to do English too."

Sebastian stared contemplatively at his computer as he weighed his options. "Math sounds better. English isn't due until Thursday, anyway. Have you gotten anything done?"

"I'm relatively positive that my name is Blaine Anderson." He took in the familiar background of Sebastian's room while the other boy dug around in his back for his calculus book, comforted by the fact that at least some things hadn't changed.

"One of those days, huh?" Sebastian asked.

"One of those weeks," he confessed. "I've been home since Tuesday because of the migraines." He tried not to feel hurt that Sebastian hadn't noticed his absence. They only had a couple of classes together, after all.

"Oh. I've kind of been playing hooky this week."

"How come?" Although Sebastian was often late, he rarely missed a day of school, much less an entire week.

"Didn't really feel like going," he cagily replied. Blaine wanted to press him for more details, clearly something else was going on, but it was his fault that they were in such an awkward place to begin with and Sebastian didn't have to share anything with him that he didn't want. "Ready to get started?"

"Yeah. Sure. Sorry." Pulling his book closer, he started reading the first problem aloud.

xx

Social networking was a crucial part of keeping up-to-date with his friends' lives. Facebook and Twitter kept him informed of all the important things happening; like Rachel almost burning her house down again while trying a new recipe for vegan cupcakes.

Or Sebastian abruptly transferring schools in the middle of the year.

First, he changed where he lived from Lima to Westerville. Then Dalton Academy was suddenly on his list of schools. Should someone miss all that, he helpfully posted the status, "You are looking at the newest midfielder for the Dalton Academy Falcons and the newest member of the Dalton Academy Warblers."

It explained why he hadn't been in school for the last two weeks, at least.

The status was almost instantly liked by every single member of both the Warblers and the New Directions. Santana alone held the dissenting opinion of 'u suck bitchlet.'

Staring at his computer in confusion he refreshed the page, sure he had just imagined it. But no. It was still there, staring at him in black print.

His mouse hovered over the like button but he didn't click it. He didn't understand.

No one had said anything to him. Not Sebastian, whom he'd been calling every night to do homework with. Not Jeff or Nick who he had gotten coffee with over the weekend and expressly confided how concerned he was with Sebastian's extended absence. They seemed like the perfect candidates to listen to his concerns: completely removed from the situation. Or so he thought.

Ignoring the way his heart clenched at the old lines of joking banter, he clicked open their chat window and hesitantly typed out **...Seb?**

After four hours it became obvious that he wasn't going to get a reply so he shut down his laptop and crawled into bed.

xx

After he received his first slushie facial he remembered thinking that life at McKinley couldn't get any worse, short of ending up in the hospital again.

He had been wrong.

Although Kurt had remained tight lipped as to what, exactly, had happened in their relationship even oblivious Finn was aware it had ended. Given Sebastian's departure he knew that some of them, at least, had put two and two together and it was only a matter of time before the rest did.

No one hesitated to rally around Kurt in his time of need.

Really, Blaine hadn't expected anything different. It had been clear since September that he was the outsider and he had no illusions that his heartache would change that. Sam and Mike alone seemed mostly indifferent, or at least thought him pathetic enough to deserve the odd pitying grimace as the passed him in the hallway. And while Santana wasn't on Kurt's side, her withering glares suggested that she was still in contact with Sebastian and whatever he had told her did not reflect well on him.

But Blaine kept going to all of his classes and every rehearsal despite the looks. If the only people who talked to him during the day were his teachers and his lab partner, Audrey, it was more than he deserved, really.

It wasn't until Cooper was called in that Blaine realized exactly how well he wasn't coping. Although his brother flitted around just as obnoxiously as ever, it was impossible to miss the concerned side stares Cooper pierced him with whenever he thought he wouldn't be seen.

After Sue caught Cooper coming to pick Blaine up for lunch one day she convinced him to teach a two-day 'acting master class' to the aspiring actors of McKinley High, a group made up exclusively of fellow glee clubbers who opted to, temporarily, lay aside their grudge with the youngest Anderson in order to fawn over the older one.

Even Kurt managed to go more than ten minutes without glaring at Blaine as he, loudly, discussed all the ways in which Cooper Anderson was perfection personified.

In an uncharacteristic show of compassion, Cooper continuously called on Blaine in the, albeit misguided, belief that if everyone could remember his little brother's talent the tension in the room would magically dissipate and he would return to the bright-eyed ray of sunshine he was used to.

As much as Blaine appreciated his brother's sudden compassion and interest in his life he didn't have much confidence in his methods. The only person it really seemed to sway was Rachel who occasionally looked at him like he was an actual person and not some insect she had stepped on.

xx

The endless brooding in self-pity had to end, he decided on Saturday night. And the best way to end it was by going out for the night. It was the ideal distraction- loud music, plenty to drink, and new people to talk to that didn't know his sob life story.

It was unfortunate that Scandals was the only bar in the area he was familiar with and possibly the only gay bar this side of Columbus. But he wouldn't let one (night of) bad experience(s) ruin his newfound quest to pull himself together.

Overestimating his own abilities had always been one of his biggest flaws.

By 11.30 he was very drunk, thanks to the man at the bar who happily continued to buy him drinks. He wasn't bad to look at, Blaine supposed, if 35 year old, bearded men were your thing. He had nice hair, at least. And his eyes looked like they'd be kind once they got rid of their predatory smirk.

"I'll be right back," he muttered as the man's (Patrick? Peter?) hands groped down his backside. "I think my brother keeps calling. He just broke up. With his girlfriend," he lied, Sebastian's Rules for Going Out echoing in the back of his head. (Rule #10: never say you're going to the bathroom unless you're looking for a quickie. Rule #11: If you're trying to get away never say 'you need some air'. Lie and stay hidden for 15 minutes. He'll have moved on.")

"I'll get us another drink," the man said making Blaine's stomach twinge in guilt. "Beer okay?"

"Just water this time," he replied. Pressing a scratchy kiss to the man's cheek (rule #13) he disentangled himself and tripped his way to the front door, shaking his head when Larry-the-bouncer tried to stamp him. As soon as he got outside he was going to call Cooper to come and pick him up.

Cooper was not at all impressed with his choice of location but promised he would be there in twenty minutes, threat of a lecture suggested by his tone.

Blaine sat himself on the curb, trying his hardest to not think about the last time he was there. And the brown-haired boy who had sat next to him, holding him when he needed it and offering reassurances that no one else ever had.

He missed him. Some days more than he missed Kurt.

He let his head fall into his hands. Not thinking, it turned out, was easier with his eyes closed.

"You okay?" A concerned voice asked some five minutes later.

"I'm fine, really. Waiting to be picked up." Blaine started, yanking his head up and blinking in disorientation. His confusion only grew as he recognized the figure standing in front of him."Sebastian?" He asked, surprised to see the other boy.

Tersely Sebastian nodded in response, looking just as shocked to see Blaine there. "How've you been?" It seemed to be asked more out of courtesy than curiosity, a way to fill the gaping silence that had never existed between them.

"Fine. Good." It was the opposite of how he'd been, but the response was automatic. "You?"

"Yeah, good. I've been good." He actually looked like he had been good. There had been a constant tenseness about him when he was at McKinley, a guarded look that seeped out from his eyes and had disappeared in the month that he had been gone.

"What are you- I mean. I didn't expect to see you here." He knew, of course, about Sebastian's penchant for going out and _enjoying_ himself. But Sebastian's frequent trip to Ohio's gay bars had abruptly dropped off in December. Time he had filled, instead with late night Skype and phone calls with Blaine.

Sebastian shrugged defensively. "It's not like I was going to stop finding other guys just because I'm in love with you."

It should have been the other way around Blaine couldn't help but hazily thinking. That Sebastian should be the one drunk while he stood, somewhat exacerbated but overall patiently and, most importantly, soberly, by. Or that he, in his drunken state, should be the one blurting out confessions that had been building over the months they'd known each other.

But no. Sebastian was standing _right in front of him_, without a drop of alcohol in his blood and saying-

"What?" Blaine asked, sure he had heard wrong. Because everything about the situation was wrong, wrong, _wrong._

"I. Love. You." Sebastian huffed again, more annoyed this time. "I didn't realize it was a big secret."

It wasn't. At all. Even though it was the first time he heard it, the first time he had ever thought about it, really. He had still known.

"Sebastian-" he started, unsure of what else to say. He cared about the other boy, probably more than he could even admit to himself but he didn't _love_ him. (Although he could, one day, maybe a voice in the back of his mind unhelpfully whispered.)

"Don't," said Sebastian who suddenly looked exhausted again. "Just leave it. It doesn't matter."

An unspoken _I don't matter_ hung in the air between them.

"That's not tr-"

"I said leave it."

Blaine had seen Sebastian angry before. Everyone at McKinley had seen him angry before, it wasn't exactly an emotion he felt necessary to keep to himself. But for the first time since they had met that anger was being directed at him.

"Have a good night, killer." The killer was spat out and sounded like an insult, instead of the normal term of borderline endearment he had grown accustomed to. It hurt, he thought, more than the fact that Sebastian didn't look back even once as he disappeared through into Scandal's.

It should be raining, he thought numbly, because he felt like it was. Standing in the dark and shivering as though there was an icy wind whipping through his soaked clothing as his mind sputtered to understand.

But the night air was unseasonably warm on his skin. And through the fog of his mind, his heart beat out the same repetitive pattern. I. Love. You. I. Love. You.

xx

In what he would later only be able to describe as a masochistic fit, he decided joining the Cheerios was a good decision. It gave him something to do and (mostly) new people to do it with. And luckily Santana was too distracted by rolling her eyes at Coach Roz and Coach Sylvester's, frankly, childish pettiness to be bothered by him.

It wasn't really the place to go to escape drama but at least this drama he wasn't a part of and the girls didn't seem to have any expectation that he get involved in it, aside from wearing the appropriate facial expressions to accompany their latest story of outrage or heartache.

Both Coach Roz and Coach Sylvester refused to ever let him forget that they didn't like him and he had never been called so many ridiculous things in his life as he had during the first ten minutes he had been on the squad. But male cheerleaders with strength, flexibility, and a vague sense of rhythm were a rare commodity at William McKinley High School, so he had been begrudgingly accepted into their ranks.

Really, it was a spectacularly bad decision. But definitely the least bad of all the bad decisions he had made within the last six months, which was saying something. And at least he could put this one on his college resume and hope it might impress and admissions board somewhere.

Practices were hard. Harder, even, than boxing had been and it was in an utter state of exhaustion that he stumbled home every evening, directly into a hot shower and then into his most comfortable pair of pyjamas. Not to mention that 'dunking' really wasn't his thing. (Another reason, he suspected, that Santana hadn't run him off the squad because she got way to much entertainment out of watching him try and, he was vaguely mortified, at least one video.)

Most importantly his newest extracurricular kept him busy. Busy enough that he didn't have (much) time to dwell on the circle of empty seats around him in the choir room or the fact that the eleventh locker down from his English classroom had been taken over by a freshman girl barely tall enough to reach the top shelf.

xx

The next time he and Sebastian saw one another was at Regionals.

"Blaine. San," he greeted cordially. "Everyone else." He titled his head to indicate the group as a whole.

"Sebastian," he said as Santana glowered over his shoulder, muttering about smirky-faced meerkats under her breath.

"How's it going, man?" Mike extended out a hand to shake Sebastian's. "Looking sharp."

"With I could say the same for you," Sebastian replied with an easy shrug and self-satisfied smirk.

"Hey! My girlfriend worked hard on these." He reached down and laced his fingers through Tina's and gave her hand a proud squeeze.

"Lovely." Whether it was sarcastic or a genuine compliment was anyone's guess but Tina's wary smile suggested she took it as the latter.

Awkwardly, they milled about the lobby for another couple minutes. The corner of Sebastian's mouth kept twitching, as though he was about to say something but he never did.

"There you guys are," Mr. Schuester said, coming up behind them and clapping his arm around Finn's shoulders. "We need to start warming up. Everyone meet in the room in five minutes. Sebastian," he added, nodding at the Warbler. Sebastian quirked his eyebrow in response.

As they were turning to leave Sebastian caught Blaine's arm, the warmth of his hand causing Blaine's heart to stutter foolishly in his chest.

"What do you want, Sebastian?" He asked brusquely, refusing to make direct eye contact. Annoyance at the boy in front of him bubbled in his stomach. Annoyance he had been too intoxicated to feel the last time they were face to face but had been festering within him ever since he found out about the transfer.

"I know you don't want to talk to me," he said, earning a snort in reply. Blaine had six unanswered message saved on his phone that attested as much. "Just give me a chance. To explain. Or make it up to you. Or whatever." Sebastian was looking at him wide eyed and... empty. Like some part of him had been cut out when they severed connections too. "Please," he implored.

Shrugging him off Blaine stared for a long moment. "I'll think about it," he promised. His mind desperately wanted to say yes but his heart still stung with the betrayal of sudden abandonment that left him completely alone in a place he wasn't entirely sure he ever really wanted to be to begin with. Not only that but Sebastian had managed to get the other Warbler's involved. Had made them, in their own small way, betray Blaine's trust too.

Sebastian nodded in resigned gratitude: a condemned man who had accepted responsibility and was awaiting his final judgement.

"Good luck out there," Blaine said because it was all he had to offer. "I'm sure you guys will be great."

"You too, killer."

And damn if Sebastian didn't look good in that blazer. Really good. Blaine hadn't thought it was possible for anything to make Sebastian's legs look longer but, somehow, the uniform managed.

xx

The sound of drunken hollering was the first thing to greet him when Sebastian answered his phone.

"Want to join in the celebrations?" He asked, just a little too loud but at least decently enunciated. "Once a Warbler, always a Warbler, right? I'm sure there's a beer somewhere around here with your name on it."

Blaine opened his mouth to reply but found himself unable to form any words.

"You there?" Sebastian asked, voice becoming distant as he checked the screen to make sure the call was still connected. "Blaine?"

"There was an accident," he finally managed to chokingly whisper. "After Regionals."

"Are you okay?" Sebastian's voice, sharp with concern, interrupted him.

"Yeah-"

"San?"

Forgetting Sebastian couldn't see him through the phone, he nodded.

"Quinn," Blaine forced out. "She was alone in her car. She ran a stop sign. A pickup," he inhaled sharply. "hit her. On the driver's side."

"Can you guys shut the fuck up for one minute?" Sebastian yelled to the rowdy boys around him. "Shit," he swore, attention back to Blaine. "Where is she? Where are you?"

"I'm home. I think she's at Lima Memorial. I don't know though."

"I'll call you right back," was the only warning Sebastian offered before hanging up.

Blaine had been the last person to find out, the New Direction's gossipmongers not really interested in keeping him in the loop. He had found out from Brittany who texted him asking if he could use his unicorn powers to heal Quinn because Kurt said he couldn't and even though Santana said Blaine wasn't a good unicorn anymore, she still had faith in him because his hair smelled like raspberries and everyone knew that evil unicorns smelled like liquorice.

**From: Sebastian Smythe  
Can you leave your front door unlocked? Or maybe your window? **

**From: Sebastian Smythe  
Try and get some sleep. I'll be there in 1hr40min.**

**From: Blaine A.  
Don't be ridiculous. Wait until the morning. **

He wanted Sebastian there. Didn't want to be alone in this. But that didn't mean he thought Sebastian should have to drive all the way out to Lima to be with him. If anything he should be going out to Dalton, since he was the one that needed someone. (Only briefly did he let it cross his mind that Sebastian might need someone too. He was, after all, affected in a way that no one else at Dalton was.)

**From: Sebastian Smythe  
It's morning now. Promise Cristoph the cabbie will drive safely. See you soon.**

Blaine breathed out a sigh of relief at the fact that Sebastian hadn't decided to drive himself or to make someone at the party bring him. Still wrapped up in his blanket, he shuffled over to the window, opened it, and carefully removed the screen. Although he hardly made use of it, he knew for a fact that the sturdy Black Walnut tree besides his room was perfect for sneaking in and out. The distance between the tree and Blaine's window was almost too great for his shorter limbs, but Sebastian wouldn't have a problem.

**From: Blaine A.  
Window's open.**

From: Blaine A.  
Thank you.

He hadn't planned on falling asleep but after half an hour he found himself drifting in and out of a fitful doze. Every few minutes he would jerk awake, half convinced a car was careening towards him or else flinching away from the sight of everyone he cared about laid out on the road, limbs twisted and contorted in unnatural ways, covered in blood, and desperately gasping for air.

It was in the middle of one of those uneasy rests that Sebastian must have snuck in because instead of starting awake yet again, Blaine found himself slowly drifting into consciousness with a strong arm wrapped securely around his waist and fingers carding through his hair.

"Sebastian," he breathed out.

"Hey," Sebastian whispered back, breath whispering against Blaine's temple and leaving him very aware of just how close they were.

"Listen, Seb." He scrambled up onto his elbows, putting as much distance as he could between them without getting too far away." I'm really-"

"Shh." Placing his hand over Blaine's thundering heart Sebastian coaxed him back down. "One thing at a time. We deal with... _this_ first. And then we can deal with us."

There was time for them. Neither of them was going anywhere, not anytime soon. They couldn't necessarily say the same for Quinn.

They lapsed into silence and both tried their hardest to fall asleep. But as the frequent annoyed sighs and restless shifting attested, it was a task neither of them found easy.

"Fuck this," Sebastian grumbled when he had grown tired of staring off into nothing. "Can we watch some shitty television or something? Until we kill enough brain cells that we're forced to go to sleep?"

"That sound s perfect." Kicking his covers off, Blaine slid into his slippers and pulled on his dressing gown. "We have to go to the rec room, though. So we don't bother my parents."

xx

They were sitting side by side on the couch, flipping through the channels in search of something worth watching. The setting sun glowed golden through the windows. Sebastian sighed as they looped back around to where they had started on but kept determinedly pressing the button, sure that this time, maybe, there would be something on.

Blaine had stopped watched the flickering channels ages ago and was instead staring at the other boy out of the corner of his eye.

Without thinking, he took the remote from his friends hand, causing Sebastian to look over at him. Their eyes met and Blaine leaned forward.

They kissed. They kept kissing, more and more frantic and needy. Sebastian's hands ran up and down his sides, digging into his back. Blaine's hands clutched together at Sebastian's shirt, pulling him down on top of him until they were laying flush against each other. Moaning, Sebastian rolled his hips, grinding down into the boy below him.

Blaine woke up.

"G'back t'sleep," Sebastian slurred, flipping over on the massive ottoman and moulding himself around Blaine. "S'early."

"Kay," Blaine snuggled deeper into the embrace and let his eyelids droop closed again.

xx

By 10 the next morning they were sitting awkwardly in a corner of Lima Memorial. About half of New Directions was also there, keeping themselves clearly separate.

'It's good for her parents. To know so many people care about her,' Sebastian had told him authoritatively when he noticed how uncomfortable Blaine was.

After half an hour of sitting on the uncomfortable plastic chairs Sebastian excused himself to go get them coffee since neither of them had slept that well. Blaine managed to make it through another ten minutes of trying not to flinch every time someone so much as looked like they were going to look at him before getting up and following the signs towards the cafeteria as well.

"Britt's on her way," he heard Sebastian's voice gently murmuring as he rounded a corner. "Her stupid cat apparently gambled away her car keys, so she's biking over. She'll be here soon."

Just off to the side of the hallway stood Sebastian, arms wrapped tightly around Santana whose entire body was shaking as she silently cried into his shoulder.

Back peddling faster than he ever had in his life he retreated back to the waiting room, knowing it was a scene that neither party would have wanted anyone they knew to have witnessed.

"Blaine Warbler!" A voice called out from behind him. He barely had time to turn around before blonde hair was whipping across his face and he was being enveloped in a hug. "I knew you would come."

"Hi, Brittany," he said, starting to hug her back only to find himself being tugged down the hallway and back to the waiting room, coming to a stop in front of Quinn's mildly surprised looking family.

"Mrs, Fabray, this is Blaine Warbler. He's a unicorn with magical healing powers and he's here to make Quinn all better. I would help but I'm bicorn," she pouted, "and I don't think we have healing powers. But Santana and Mr. Lobster are here too. And three unicorns is like super magic."

Blaine was torn between looking apologetically at the Fabray's and confusedly staring at Brittany over her nickname and hoping it was something Sebastian never found out about.

"It's very nice to meet you," he offered quietly.

"You as well," Mrs. Fabray replied with a grimaced smile that didn't even try to meet her eyes. Besides her Quinn's sister inclined her head in agreement.

An hour later, as Puck's fifth attempt at making a tower of all their empty cups fell down around him, the doctor came out to announce that Quinn was finally stable, although it was too early to tell if there would be any lasting damage.

"Told you," Brittany half sang, half yawned from Santana's shoulder. "Magical."

xx

There was a difference between wanting things to go back to how they were and actually being able to let that happen. Which was why Blaine and Sebastian had been staring at each other over lukewarm cups of coffee for the last hour. With Sebastian home for the weekend, the Lima Bean had seemed like an ideal place to go to talk. Their homes were too intimate and anywhere else would be uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

But maybe unfamiliar would have been better with the way the baristas keep glancing worriedly over at their corner where they'd somehow managed to put an ocean of distance between them despite the fact their knees are practically knocking under the tiny table.

"So..." Blaine started before trailing off. He had been up half the night thinking about what he was going to say but it had all seemed too little or else grossly overdramatic.

"You could have called." Sebastian shifted in his chair, eyes darting guiltily to the side. "San told me..." He made a sweeping gesture, as though to encompass everything he and Santana had talked about in the last month and a half.

Blaine could only imagine what it was Santana had been saying about him between scathing insults.

"I couldn't." It wasn't just anger at Sebastian he had felt but also at himself. Every time he had picked up the phone with the intention of getting in touch again he had been wracked by another crashing wave of guilt.

"Why not?" Bemusement played across the other boy's face.

"Because I used you, Sebastian. I-" he dropped his voice to a shamed whisper, "I kissed you because I felt bad about myself and my relationship. I used your... feelings,  
he swallowed hard around the word. "For me against you and that isn't okay."

"And it meant nothing to you?" asked Sebastian in a carefully neutral tone.

Blaine's head shot up in alarm, hating that he had caused that impression because it was the furthest thing from the truth. "I never said-"

"Then I really don't see the problem."

"Not as though any of it matters, since you left me," he muttered under his breath before snapping his mouth shut. He had meant to say McKinley- that Sebastian had left McKinley and gone somewhere new.

"Blaine." It looked and sounded like just saying the name was causing Sebastian physical pain. "I _couldn't_ stay. Not af- I just couldn't."

For the first time he thought about it from the other boy's point of view.

Sebastian Smythe never belonged at William McKinley High, a school where 90% of the population had never been more than two hours from where they were born and getting an 80 on a test was considered an accomplishment, with a lacrosse team that rarely made it to States, a show choir that preferred airing their dirty laundry to anything else, and hallways full of homophobic Neanderthals .

His parents had insisted he attend the local public school instead of looking to Dalton from the get go. 'To have him close to home', Mr. Smythe had said. 'Family bonding', his mother insisted but Sebastian had known it was to keep an eye on him.

And then, on top of all of that misery, Sebastian had gone and fallen for Blaine. A boy desperately in love with his own boyfriend and determined to keep his relationship together, no matter how unhappy it made him. And Sebastian had respected their relationship, in his own way. Yes, he went out of his way to bait Kurt and continuously hit on Blaine. But he never actually made a move on him. Never, for example, tried to kiss him, despite the number of times he could have and they both knew the other was thinking about it.

And Blaine had messed that up. Had actually kissed Sebastian. For a moment he had stopped it from being a fantasy and made it into reality.

But when he kissed him it hadn't been a declaration of any sort. It wasn't done with the intention of breaking up with Kurt and further exploring whatever was between them. For all either of them had known as Sebastian fled from his room, Kurt and Blaine would remain _KurtandBlaine_ for the rest of his year.

"_You _could have called," Blaine said eventually, even though Sebastian had at least messaged him, no matter how callously impersonal and apology lacking they had been.

"Looks like we both fucked up there."

"You're just a stubborn asshole."

"No more so than you."

As they smiled at each other the final lingering tensions dissipated.

"Rumor has it that I'm going to be captain of the Warblers next year," Sebastian said, changing the subject.

"Really?"Blaine was impressed. It was rare for the Warblers to consider such things before September. Wes had been an exception, apparently it was obvious he would lead them during his senior year since his second week on campus.

"I wouldn't say no to having a co-captain. Someone to keep me in line so I don't resort to blackmailing the competition. God knows I have enough dirt on the New Directions."

Sitting up to his full (not considerable) height he affixed his most stern expression to his face and pointed a finger across the table. "You are not to destroy the Warbler's reputation, young man. Do you understand me?"

"I make no promises." All things considered, Blaine really wasn't the most threatening figure. And using the phrase 'young man' was a lot less effective when it wasn't his parents doing it. "I really cannot be trusted on my own."

"I'll think about it," Blaine groaned, relaxing and rolling his eyes. "You really are such an ass."

xx

_**Epilogue**_

One Friday during the hottest week of the summer they went galactic bowling. Blaine had vehemently insisted it was necessary when he discovered that Sebastian had never so much as set foot inside a bowling alley. Reluctantly Sebastian had agreed, although he nearly walked out when he found out he was expected to put his feet in pre-worn shoes.

It wasn't a date but it kind of felt like one as they laughed over Blaine's inability to knock down more than 4 pins at a time and the college frat boy three lanes down who kept trying to impress his date but continuously ended up throwing the ball in the gutter. Sebastian kept finding excuses to brush his fingers against the back of Blaine's hand and every time he did Blaine ended up flushing heatedly, thankful of the fact that the lights were mostly off.

Since it wasn't-a-date they had taken separate cars and they ended the night lingering in the parking lot, awkwardly standing beside Blaine's car, neither one wanting to be the first to leave.

"This was fun," Blaine said, fingers itching to straighten his bowtie or fix his hair or do anything but flex uselessly at his side. (Grabbing Sebastian's polo by the collar and pulling him in was also an option.)

"We should do it again." Sebastian's hands were shoved deep in his pockets, causing his shoulders to hunch up as he shifted his weight. "Not the bowling thing. One time wearing those ridiculous clown shoes was more than enough." But his smile let Blaine know that he had enjoyed himself.

"Yeah," Blaine found himself blushing and feeling like a ten year old talking to his first crush. "I'd really, really like that."

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry this took longer than expected to get out. And thank you everyone for your wonderful reviews and for reading. **


End file.
